Bernice Ross
It seems like people of all ages increasingly treat AI software as if it can care, connect and respond emotionally. It cannot. You shouldn’t make the same mistake in real estate.
Human “carbon intelligence” communicates with artificial intelligence programs’ “silicon intelligence” through language and visual imagery. Only our carbon intelligence, however, has a biological nervous system, memory, emotion and lived experience – something no amount of processing power can ever replicate.
A familiar domestic moment sums up the difference between AI silicon intelligence and humans’ carbon intelligence: a golden retriever jumping for joy that her human just came home.
AI programs can name the signals in that reunion: the dog’s body language, the owner’s expression, the excitement and the rush of recognition. What they cannot do is feel the jolt of joy that both the dog and her owner share the moment the door opens – a jolt of joy any dog owner reading this can immediately call to mind.
At first glance, this difference may not seem relevant to real estate, but it is already playing out everywhere around us in both our business and personal lives.
Real Estate Is Emotional Work
As agents we often work with people when they’re the most vulnerable, whether it is the first time buyer terrified they won’t qualify to buy their dream home they found, the couple dividing assets in a messy divorce, or the widow who has to sell because she can no longer afford to keep her house.
These moments require more than AI-generated, accurate information and polished language. They require compassion and empathy for what the agent’s client is experiencing.
After being in this business for over 40 years, I can tell you that almost every client objection or obnoxious behavior is caused by fear.
Your clients may not even realize that fear is what’s driving their behavior, but you still need to address it. Begin by listening to what they’re saying, writing it down and slowing down the process to allow them the time they need to navigate the emotions they’re having.
AI Works by Mirroring Us
AI is extraordinary at pattern-recognition and language generation. It has been trained on millions of examples of caring, supportive communication and can mirror empathy with remarkable accuracy. It can remember context from earlier conversations, adopt a warm, steady tone when you’ve lost a deal, the mortgage is due and you don’t have enough money to meet your bills.
AI can make you feel like it cares, but the mistake is assuming that it is feeling anything back. It is not.
In contrast, your golden retriever perceives your distress, comes over, looks at you with love as she wags her tail and then licks your face, and you somehow feel better.
In a similar way, your clients want to have a conversation with you, not a chatbot
When you’re supposed to close at 9 a.m. tomorrow morning and the hot water heater breaks and floods the house the night before, silicon intelligence can find the best 24-hour plumbing service.
A chatbot can also tell you all the right things its training and user input says you should say.
What it can’t do is listen as your seller melts down, as the buyer threatens not to close until the damage is repaired or intuitively know which solution will “feel” right to your clients.
Use AI to Stay More Human
When agents outsource too much of their client communication to AI, their clients often sense the difference, even though they can’t exactly say why. The silicon response feels slightly off.
The best way to use AI is to recognize how powerful it is at communicating with the language portion of your brain. It can simplify contract language, organize lead follow-up systems, generate answers to tough objections, come up with creative solutions to a difficult transaction issue, plus identify patterns in your business that are both opportunities and issues you need to fix.
That is the real promise of AI: It allows you to be better prepared, respond in real time digitally and create more time not only for your clients, but for your personal life as well.
But before you hit send on an AI-drafted message to a client in a high-emotion moment, ask yourself this one question: If this were my mother, my sister, my best friend, or someone I truly loved, would I send this exact message, or would I reach out to them in person?
Your clients do not need you to tell them what they’re experiencing. Instead, they need another human who can understand what they’re going through and is there to support them emotionally, something no server farm can ever do.
Bernice Ross is a nationally syndicated columnist, author, trainer and speaker on real estate topics. She can be reached at bernice@realestatecoach.com.
